Female physician-formulated · Bioidentical hormone restoration · 90-day guarantee
Draft v3
You watched the webinar. Here's your next 30 days.
Bioidentical estrogen, progesterone and DHEA creams — without the petrochemicals, the microplastics, or the seven-to-ten doctor visits it usually takes to be taken seriously. Watch Dr. Michelle explain why she built Clean Hormones, then choose your bundle below.
Placeholder: current “Clean Hormone Q&A #1” (8:47) — the new ~9:30 version is in production. Open on Vimeo if the player doesn't load.
What you heard on the webinar, in one picture
It's 3:12 a.m. again. You're wide awake for no reason, running tomorrow's list, damp from a hot flash you'll pretend didn't happen. By noon you'll have walked into a room and forgotten why, snapped at someone you love over nothing, and glanced at the jeans that fit last spring. Then you'll open the drawer — the sleep aid, the antidepressant, the supplement your sister swears by — five bottles for five problems, and none of them talking to each other.
That's the one-pill-per-symptom trap: a different prescription for every complaint, and nobody looking at the whole picture. Those aren't seven separate problems. They're one problem, showing up in seven places. That's exactly why Dr. Michelle built Clean Hormones the way she did: the hormones your body stopped making, in the cleanest form that exists, with a physician-guided protocol so you actually know what to take.
Every woman past 35 goes through some level of hormone decline. The question isn't whether. It's what you put back — and what it's made of.
Why now, not next year
Here's what nobody said in that exam room: hormone decline isn't a phase you wait out. It's a slope. Estrogen doesn't dip and bounce back — it steps down and stays down, and every system it was quietly running steps down with it. Your sleep. Your skin, hair and nails. Your bones. Your mood. Your metabolism. The tissue down there.
The median length of hot flashes and night sweats in the largest U.S. study of the menopause transition — and more than eleven years for women whose symptoms started early. Study of Women's Health Across the Nation, JAMA Internal Medicine, 2015.
Seven years. Seven years of 3 a.m. Seven years of being told it's normal. Seven years of slowly becoming someone you don't quite recognize — while the decline that could have been addressed in month one keeps compounding.
And the cost isn't only how you feel. It's the marriage that goes quiet because intimacy hurts. The promotion you didn't chase because you couldn't trust your brain in the meeting. The vacation photos you're not in. Nobody puts that on a lab report.
The good news: the same slope works in reverse. Put back what your body stopped making — the actual hormone, not a drug that mimics one symptom — and the systems that stepped down start stepping back up. Not overnight. But sooner than you think, and a great deal sooner than seven years.
The dirty truth about most hormone replacement
Think about what a hormone cream actually is. The hormone is a fraction of a percent. The other 99% is the base — the stuff that carries it into you. And your skin isn't a wall. It's a sponge. Whatever's in that base goes into your bloodstream right alongside the hormone.
Most prescription and “bioidentical” hormone creams come in bases made from petrochemicals, parabens, phthalates and plastics. Those aren't inert. They're endocrine disruptors. A lot of them are still animal-tested, too. You'd be treating a hormone problem with a cream that causes hormone problems — every day, for years.
Dr. Michelle's clients kept asking for clean HRT free from parabens and plastics, and she couldn't find one either. So Glow formulated its own: organic aloe, olive and coconut oil, shea, green tea and grape seed extract carrying pharmaceutical-grade USP bioidentical hormones. Nothing else. Vegan. Cruelty-free. Clean Label Project certified.
| Big Pharma synthetic hormones | Other “bioidentical” brands | Clean Hormones | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bioidentical (USP estradiol, estriol, progesterone, DHEA) | ✕ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Free of petrochemicals & parabens | ✕ | ✕most | ✓ |
| Microplastic-free & forever-chemical-free | ✕ | ✕ | ✓ |
| No endocrine-disrupting additives | ✕ | ✕ | ✓ |
| Organic, plant-based base | ✕ | ✕rare | ✓ |
| Never tested on animals | ✕ | ✕varies | ✓Leaping Bunny |
| 3rd-party tested for purity | ✓ | ✕varies | ✓ |
| Available without a prescription | ✕ | ✓some | ✓ |
| Physician-reviewed protocol included | ✕7–10 visits, avg. | ✕ | ✓intake + consult |
Why this exists
I passed out at track practice in college. The doctors said I was dehydrated. Then came the real diagnosis: primary ovarian failure — the hormones of a fifty-year-old, told I'd never have children, and handed antidepressants, birth control and pain pills for the rest of my life.
I was a science major. I didn't accept that. It took me ten years — becoming a doctor, healing my gut, my thyroid, my immune system — before my cycles came back. My son Paxton was born when I was 41. He's the reason Glow exists.
Then, after Paxton, every symptom came back at once. I knew I needed hormone replacement. So I went shopping for it — the way you're shopping for it right now.
That's Clean Hormones: pharmaceutical-grade USP bioidenticals in an organic, plant-based base. Three years in market, thousands of women on it, and a telemedicine team so you never have to be gaslit through seven appointments. Your diagnosis is not your destiny. — Dr. Michelle
How it works
The biggest reason women don't start is “I don't know what I need.” So we removed the guesswork — and the seven appointments.
Checkout takes a minute. Your creams ship the same week, discreetly.
Tell us your symptoms, history and goals. A hormone specialist reviews it and meets you privately by video or phone.
Exactly which cream, how much, when — adjusted with your specialist as your body responds. Nobody's first month is their forever dose.
What's in the Derm Trio
Most hormone “solutions” hand you one thing and hope. Clean Hormones gives you all three, because your body never ran on one hormone — it ran on the balance between them. Think of it as the climate control in your house:
Why creams and not pills? A pill goes through your liver first, which breaks most of it down and changes what's left. A cream goes through your skin straight into circulation, in a steady low dose — closer to the way your ovaries used to release it. It's also why your protocol can be adjusted by the pump instead of the prescription pad.
Same hormones you'd get anywhere. Completely different everything-else. And when you're putting something on your skin every day for years, the everything-else is the whole point.
Each cream: purified water, vegetable glycerin, organic aloe, USP hormone, Japanese green tea extract, organic olive and coconut oil, shea, sunflower lecithin, vitamin E, allantoin, grape seed and grapefruit seed extract. No parabens, petrochemicals, fragrance or dyes. 100% vegan · cruelty-free (Leaping Bunny) · Clean Label Project certified.
What to expect
No two women respond on the same clock — that's why a specialist is adjusting yours. But this is the shape most women's first three months take.
Your creams arrive discreetly. You fill out the intake in five minutes — tonight, in your pajamas, without anyone in a white coat looking at you like you're being dramatic. A specialist reviews it, meets you privately, and hands you your protocol: which cream, how much, when.
For many women it's sleep — one full night, then two in a row. Hot flashes and night sweats tend to ease in the same window. You start noticing the absence of things.
Mood levels out. The 3 p.m. crash softens. You finish your sentences. Your specialist checks in and adjusts — nobody's first month is their forever dose.
Skin, energy, drive and libido tend to follow as levels stabilize. Weight starts responding to the things that used to work. Somewhere in here, a friend asks what you're doing differently.
Individual results vary. That's exactly why the guarantee is 90 days — long enough to know, not just to hope.
Be honest with yourself
Choose your bundle
Both bundles include your personalized intake review, private consultation, custom protocol and free shipping. Month to month — no contract, cancel anytime.
CLEAN at checkout
No contract. No risk.
Follow your protocol for 90 days. If you don't love the way Clean Hormones makes you feel, email us and we'll refund every penny. There's no minimum commitment — pause, change or cancel your monthly creams any time from your account.
Why we can offer this: three years, thousands of women, and a protocol that's adjusted with you instead of guessed at. — Dr. Michelle
Women on Clean Hormones
Placeholders written in the voice of Glow's existing hormone-club reviews — swap in 6–10 verified Clean Hormones reviews before launch. Draft — needs real reviews
Sleeping through the night for the first time in three years. My husband says I'm “back.” The consult alone was worth it — nobody had ever explained what each hormone actually does.
I'd been bounced between four doctors. One intake form and a 20-minute call and I had a plan. The creams feel like skincare, not medicine.
Hot flashes gone in the first month. Brain fog took a little longer but it lifted. I read every label and this is the only one I recognized every ingredient on.
The GLOW Below add-on was the thing I didn't know I needed. The whole-body creams fixed my sleep; GLOW Below fixed the rest.
I was terrified of hormones because of what my mom was told in the 90s. Dr. Michelle's webinar changed that. Three months in and I wish I'd started years ago.
Energy, mood, and I've lost the eleven pounds that wouldn't move no matter what I ate. Same food. Different hormones.
Before you decide
This is the one to ask first, and we take it seriously. The intake review exists precisely for this — your specialist will look at your history and tell you honestly what's appropriate, which may be a modified protocol or a non-estrogen option like TestaDerm alone. You'll never be “sold” a hormone that isn't right for you.
The 2002 study that scared a generation used synthetic hormones — a pill made from horse urine plus a synthetic progestin — in women who were, on average, 63 and more than a decade past menopause. That is not what Clean Hormones is. Bioidentical hormones, through the skin, in low physiologic doses, started when symptoms start is a different conversation — and your specialist will have it with you, against your own history, before you start anything.
You don't need to know — your personalized protocol tells you which cream, how much and when, based on your intake. Testing isn't required to start; your specialist will tell you if it would help in your case.
The hormones are the same pharmaceutical-grade USP bioidenticals you'd get elsewhere. The difference is everything around them — an organic, plant-based base with no petrochemicals, parabens, phthalates, microplastics or fragrance. Your skin absorbs the base too.
Many women notice sleep and hot flashes shift within the first few weeks. Mood, energy, skin and libido tend to follow over 2–3 months as levels stabilize. That's why the guarantee is 90 days — long enough to actually know.
Balanced hormones typically make weight easier to manage, not harder — the stubborn midlife weight is usually a symptom of the decline, not the treatment. Your specialist will watch this with you.
GLOW Below is Dr. Michelle's vaginal serum with low-dose bioidentical estrogen (AM) or DHEA (PM). Systemic creams restore your whole body; GLOW Below restores the tissue “down there” — dryness, irritation, UTIs, leaks and painful intimacy. Many women need both, which is why the bundle exists.
No. Month to month, pause or cancel any time. The Derm Trio is $147/mo, the Trio + GLOW Below bundle is $226.98/mo. Webinar attendees can apply code CLEAN at checkout.
Then you get your money back. Follow the protocol for 90 days; if you're not happy, email us for a full refund.
Your next 30 days
You've already done the hard part — you sat through the education and you understand what's happening. The only thing left is the form.
P.S. You've got two paths from here. Path one: close this page, book appointment number eight, and spend another year being told it's normal. Path two: one form, five minutes, and a real protocol from someone who's going to listen — with hormones you'd be comfortable putting on your daughter.
The average woman sees seven to ten providers before someone takes her hormones seriously. You don't need to be average. Choose your bundle tonight and you'll have a physician-reviewed protocol before the weekend. Code CLEAN at checkout.
Virtual hugs,
Dr. Michelle